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have found your way to "The Best of Magellan's Log Satire." |
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Special Issues: Chiliastic Hideon Copyright © "Giving well is the best revenge." All Issues: |
Is Masturbation a Crime Against God? Read the first draft of a Christian advice-giver's thoughts on self-abuse.
Time travel Breakthrough! Scientists have recently retrieved passages from a 42nd century encyclopedia. Read shocking examples of what the future has to say about us. Back to the Present. Tips on Empire-Building
Propitiation for Beginners Just Say No to Tasteless Dubya Jokes! So You Want to Be a Real American The Dangers of Creeping Liberalism, Tolerance, and Rationality. A powerful visual warning to the today's youth of the terrible price they pay when they try to think for themselves. Laws of the Universe The Dick Principle Alleviate despair. We love to get mail from our readers!
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2028 and All That
WORLD SCOOP! Freudian Symbols (Revised) "The Little King, An American Fairy Tale," by Henry Bob Kulup. With this little fable, Magellan's Log salutes the first Republican administration of the 3rd millennium. Read it and weep. The Texas Problem The Human Comedy Study Aid
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How Long Is It Anyway?
Penises on Parade The Magellan’s Log Investigative To-do List for FBI Agents Wondering Where to Look Next Some Call It Porn... The Magellan's Log Reality-perception
Test (MLRT) Tidying Up America: The Secret Republican Budget Plan for the Next 4 Years. Our mole in the White House has come through again. You think things have changed in the last 4 years? You ain't seen nuthin yet, according to Business Editor Michelle Furr. M.A.D.* S.U.V. Driving Test
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A normal person wouldn't steal
pituitaries. Come with us into strange realms where the English language has
never gone before: 
What, Me Repressed?
Though the burgeoning American Empire is obviously already highly
successful, we've been studying history and have come up with 
Last Things
Negotiations
failed. Diplomacy failed. The UN failed. What's left but to turn to the tried-and-true
wisdom of the ancients. 
Our new Token Republican columnist, Ora Shay, is deeply, deeply offended by
disrespectful jokes about 
Problems of Modern
Sexuality. 
The MLMPI
Smitings: A Divine Checklist. Through a
channeling-adept (who wishes to remain anonymous), we have acquired a detailed document
from on high (actually, from on very high, in fact, just from just about as high as you
can get) that for the first time reveals to mortals 
Our semiotic epidermatologist, Harriet Lobdell, suggests 
Aware that their home state (which is also the site of
their creative endeavors) has lately had a disturbing tendency to rub the rest of the
world the wrong way bigtime, the Magellan's Log staff recently went on a weekend retreat
to figure out 
Always trying to stay
ahead of the old cultural curve, we propose a modest addendum to the DSM, the bible of
mental problems, which we call "
Aware that some of our readers have failed to realize that the 21st century
means a lot more has change besides just the date, the staff has created 
Nothing is what it seems, and what nothing seems is false. --Gore Vidal, Myra Breckinridge. |
| After
three years Magellan’s Log is nearing what seems to be a state of completion, if such
a large, variegated structure can ever be said to be complete. From the beginning, as I’ve said elsewhere, I thought of the undertaking in architectural terms: a place (it is after all a "site") occupied by a large building or a group of buildings, a cyber-compound if you like, of various sizes, styles, and purposes. That metaphor still holds, but lately I’ve also begun to think of it as a tapestry, after the Renaissance model, full of detail and imagery, many smaller stories converging on one larger narrative. Given the stated editorial stance ("culture—counterculture—anti-culture"), the narrative turned out to be quite a bit more complex than I expected at the start. Though I wanted to do both the serious and the silly, I was more than once overtaken by events and wound up with more-—and more cutting—satire than I expected. As the turn-of-the-millennium world became yinner, I found myself becoming yanger, and vice-versa. The serious stuff is quite serious, the silly stuff quite silly, and the satire, well, the satire strove ever more mightily to follow the dark path of wisdom through ridicule where few show the way as directly as Dean Swift. Magellan’s Log, in this state of near-completion, is now yours for the wandering. Whether you see it as architecture or tapestry or just another web site really doesn’t matter. What matters here, as in the world, far more often than we want to admit, is serendipity. Wander, please, explore the nooks, the crannies, the crevices, the hopefully lovely small chambers, the occasional vast hall, and now and then the carefully plotted distant vista that opens through the occasional aural or visual window. I will no doubt make additions (and emendations), which will be duly entered in the "What’s New" page, but no more new issues, I think. Fifty-eight is just enough. Access is easy. Use the categories at the top of the page. Go to the various issues directly to the left. Or immerse yourself in the site search engine at the bottom. May the goddess of serendipity smile on you in your walks through Magellan’s Log as often as she did on me in the making of it. --Douglas Milburn Houston, July 2002. |
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