Back to the Present:
Report from the 42nd Century:
Part 3
| Scienze. Reductive religion based on a
simplistic causality and an elementarily linear view of time. Became the de facto world
religion beginning in the 17th century, and was ever more dominant and destructive until
the Total Collapse (q.v.). While Scienzism led to the first widespread
(though only partial) human control of nature, its reductive, exploitative, often violent
approach to analysis produced a hidden dynamic energy deficit, which began to increase
exponentially in the 20th century and which was almost completely ignored by society after
society. While it is difficult for us to understand the blind obedience of generations of
the most intelligent people to the narrow-minded, anti-nature prejudices and biases of
Scienzism, we need only visit the thousands of square kilometers of uninhabitable debris
in Collapse Park West (from Cape Cod to Cape Hatteras) or in Collapse Park East (from the
mouth of the Pearl River to the mouth of the Yangtze) to realize the dangerous and abject
foolhardiness of the religion. See also Primitive Religions, and Atomism. Seattle. Village, n.e. Washington, pop. 212. In recent decades archeologists have found evidence of a larger settlement in the area with a population reaching perhaps as many as 25,000 in its 21st century heyday. It is not known what caused the township’s demise, though local legend has it that a purge occurred at some point, involving the execution of all persons with any interest in anything that happened more than 24 hours in the past. See also Pompeii. 75 Years’ War, 1914-1989. Atypically, given the lack of surviving records, these dates are certain, which is why the 20th century is now universally known as the War Century (q.v.). Details of this longest war on record are sketchy. Records indicating the death of 200,000,000 in the war have now been totally discounted as simply beyond belief. Some historians argue that the war was based on race, others that it was driven by economic imbalance. A few on the radical fringe have even suggested that a political ideology was involved, specifically that based on the now-lost theories of Karl Darwin (q.v.). While we do have the beginning and ending dates of hostilities, almost nothing is known of what happened in between. Enough evidence survives to suggest that a decisive battle was fought in 1980 between forces led on one side by one "General Saddam Hussein" and on the other by "Chairman Mao," with lavish supporting troops provided by something called "CNN". The outcome of this battle is not known, though some data suggest that "CNN" was the ultimate victor. See Primitive Behavior; also, Quake, and Quaker. skyscrapings. Among the many repellant forms of pre-Total Collapse behavior, one of the most barbaric was the compulsion to construct enormous religious objects of worship in the shape of stylized penises, using materials with a most irritating durability. This mania reached its zenith, so to speak, in 2052 with the completion of the oddly named "Microsoft Tower" (one would expect "Megahard" rather than "Microsoft"), a pseudo-phallus reaching a height of 5,000 meters in the vicinity of the present-day village of Seattle (q.v.). Vast resources and several decades of the 37th century were devoted to the destruction of this obscenity. By World Decree, it was decided that all such architectural excrescences around the world would be demolished by Jan. 1, 3950. Surely one of our great cooperative achievements is the fact that this goal was met. As every school child knows, one tower was left standing as an humbling reminder of the barbaric roots from which we spring, the odious Seer's Tower, built originally in 1361 as a tribute to the decadent cult known as Boobwazee Capitalism, on the south shore of Lake Michigan. Though an eyesore among the lovely forests, parks, and hiking trails that now blanket the area, and still the object of occasional petition drives to demolish it, the building stands as a silent warning to us all. See Famous Architectural Gangs; and Frank, Lloyd, Orville, and Wilbur Wright. television. An early form of communication, consisting of dots and dashes transmitted over copper wires. The invention is today attributed to Alexander Graham Lucent. The first message, which he famously sent to his assistant, Wally Kronkite, in 1647, was : "Government of the people has nothing to fear but low ratings themselves." See movieoftheweek, and doyledanebernbach. Tittyhaha Clarabow. Dates unknown but thought to have flourished around 1900. The most famous woman of her time, she was a member of the indigenous North American tribe known to us as "moviestars." Only one image of Tittyhaha has come down to us, a primitive photograph showing her standing over a grating, from which air is blowing her skirt, revealing some form of barbaric undergarment. Also readily visible are the large mammary organs for which she was famous. The picture, still revered by the hostile group of heretics known as "moviebuphs" who are now confined by law to a reservation in southeastern Tasmania, is preserved in nitrogen at the Museum of Ancient Stiff Hotrod Culture in Barstow, California. See Brazzieres, and Aureolar Fixations. Total Collapse (2361-2396). While it is known that the pre-2361 era had its problems (the 22nd century plagues; The Great Asian Gridlock [2313-2316]; the Sino-African Satellite War [2347-2353], among others), it was the almost simultaneous series of earthquakes (known collectively as the Great Quakes, q.v.) in March, 2361 (marked by the disappearance in rapid order of 1. much of California, 2. two-thirds of Japantoyko, q.v., and 3. the British Isles, along with massive flooding from the resultant tsunamis in low-lying areas throughout the world) which marked the beginning of the end of the Ancient World. Geologists now believe that the earthquakes were triggered by the removal of unimaginable quantities of petroleum (q.v.) from deep layers of the earth. Global economic collapse was well underway in 2375 when the Ross Ice Shelf decided enough was enough and slid into the ocean, which large splash one month later dislodged the Greenland Ice Sheet. Because of the continuous rise in ocean temperatures for some centuries previous, this huge quantity of ice rapidly melted. Best estimates are that sea level rose between 15 and 20 meters over a period of months. By 2396, because of a decade-long sequence of hurricanes, typhoons, and mega-tornadoes, only a few scattered pockets of organized human life remained. Gaia had re-asserted her primacy and with remarkable efficiency had cleansed herself. We today are the fortunate heirs to that clean slate. See Cuzco Institute for the Study of Barbarian Culture, and the New Miami Center for Meteorological Analysis. USA. Short-lived country (flourished 20th century) studied today primarily as exemplary in the purity and excess of its political hypocrisy. The USAians prided themselves on their "freedom," but tolerated slavery for 90 years after the founding of the country, granted women the right to vote only another 60 years after that, and never overcame a pervasive and violent racism and homophobia. After becoming a theocracy (see Krishnianity) in the early 21st century, the country succumbed over a few decades to its governmentally approved diet of ground beef, bread, and flavored colored water containing high levels of carbonation. For all its massive and dangerous shortcomings, USA did enrich the legacy of world art in several ways. The few surviving copies of Jack Suzann's great novel, Doll Valley, are among the most valued books among collectors. And it is the truly deficient junior high graduate who can not recite from memory the entire Hank Williams oeuvre. See Jorge de Washingtonne; Maywest Monrose; Benjamin Harrison Houdini; and Andrew Carnegie Warhol. universita. The "universitas" were institutions of higher learning which briefly, when they began in the sixth century, were foci of inspired thinking and teaching. They quickly degenerated into a minor appendage of the global military-industrial-capitalist (M-I-C, q.v.) melange which controlled and exploited the world for several centuries around the turn of the second millennium. Toward the end, the primary function of the "universitas" was to provide several years of pre-professional training for the athletes who would go on to play a key role in the various global sports leagues (see football) promoted by the M-I-C conglomerate. As educational uses of the old, often luxurious universita campuses declined, they were converted to various other, money-making uses. See Oxonian Holiday Camp; Harvard Nudist Yard & Lipizzaner Riding Service; Heidelberg-MarioLanza Theme Park; and Caltetched Home for the Ontologically Challenged.  zenbudgetrentacarism.
Mystical, degenerate form of the dominant pre-Total Collapse religion, boobwazee
capitalism (q.v.), based on the belief that continuous movement will lead to
enlightenment. At its height in the 20th century, zenbudgetrentacarism had hundreds of
temples throughout the world whose sole purpose was the renting of automobiles to
adherents at reduced (hence, "budget") rates. A possible relationship to the
poke-a-man sect of ancient Japan remains unproven.
We have just received an urgent dispatch from Waxahachie. Please click below to read same. |