SEX MADE SIMPLE
The Magellan's Log Guide
to Guilt-free Polymorphous Virtuosity

by Maurice Fitznuggly

In times of porn rampant, it's easy to lose sight of the basics of sex. The Internet, DVD's, 1-800 services, XXX-on-demand via cable and satellite... What a repast! But, as with eating too often at the Tour d'Argent or driving the old Murciélago day in and day out, too much of a good thing can dull the palate and mute the reflexes.

What to do?

Simplify.

Which we have now, as a free public service, done, using only one curved line and one straight line. No expression of gratitude is necessary. Your next improved orgasm will be thanks enough:

Basic Unit No. 1.
Basic Unit No. 1a.
Basic Unit No. 2.
Basic Unit No. 3.
Basic Position.
Pre-Viagra.
Post-Viagra.
John Holmes as Male Role-model.
George W. Bush as Male Role-model (manqué).
Homosexual Foreplay.
Lesbian Foreplay.
Homosexual 3-way.
Heterosexual 3-way.
Heterosexual Orgy.
Homosexual Orgy.
Priest and Acolyte.
Humvee Owner's Penis.
Freud's Penis.
Mozart's Penis.
Einstein's Penis.
Jesus's Penis.

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