Likewise with dreams.

Time was, not so long ago, if you dreamed about a cigar EVERYBODY knew what THAT meant, even if they might blush a little to talk about your obvious phallic fixation.

The times—and with them, the meaning of dream symbols—are surely changing. Yet how many articles have you seen in Vanity Fair or The New Yorker apprising you of what your post-millennial subconscious is REALLY trying to tell you these days? Zero, right? And how many PBS specials have you seen on this important topic? Also zero (they just keep re-running the same old-hat Joseph Campbell/Bill Moyers follow-your-bliss chatter).

Ever on the cutting edge culture-wise, Magellan’s Log once again comes to your rescue. Out of a three-day retreat at Jackson Hole (we got a reduced rate at one of the manses vacated by a now-destitute Silicon Valley mogul), during which we subjected the staff to vigorous, rigorous questioning about their Third-Millennium dreams we have created a paradigm-busting re-interpretation of contemporary human desire as it cryptically expresses itself while we sleep.

We found that all the old cliché symbols still occur with predictable frequency in our Information-Age dreams. BUT: the meaning of these tired images has changed radically.

Clearly it behooves the upwardly mobile neocon, the thinking-outside-the-box cyber-entrepreneur, the imperially inclined politician, the newly inclusive religionist, the Nobel-bound literatus to take note of this seismic shift in nocturnal imagery.

Below we share with you only a small sample of the revolutionary insights that came from our staff study.

Look for ads in your local paper soon announcing the official Magellan’s Log Dream Seminar coming soon to a covered stadium near you where, for a modest fee (we’re thinking low four figures) we will reveal via a three-hour PowerPoint presentation the full, life-changing range of our insights.