by Sawyer Brown The good Late-Capitalist consumer has three
responsibilities: Only you know how well you carry out Responsibility No. 1. As for No. 3, well, just look around your domicile and you can rate yourself by how much well-advertised stuff you own. Which brings us to No. 2. The big bucks advertisers pay to get your attention are wasted if you don’t REMEMBER the message. If you’ve been feeling twinges of depression or inferiority lately, it’s POSSIBLE that the cause is your failure to be a good consumer and fill your memory box with advertised admonitions. MAYBE you can give up Prozac if you just start paying closer attention to those lovingly crafted 30-second spots and full-page color ads which, after all, are the fuel that keeps our Late Capitalist economy running. Here’s a quickie test. On the left are 10 well-known advertising slogans. On the right are 20 companies. All you have to do is match the slogans and the companies. We hardly need point out that if you aren't even interested in taking the test, you are 1) beyond Prozac, and 2) might as well move to North Korea now.
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| __ 1. It’s everywhere you want to be. __ 2. Think small. __ 3. Mm! Mm! Good! __ 4. Does she or doesn’t she? __ 5. Because I’m worth it. __ 6. A little dab’ll do ya. __ 7. Ask the man who owns one. __ 8. When you got it, flaunt it. __ 9. Good to the last drop. __ 10. The antidote for civilization.
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a. Mercedes-Benz, 1954. b. Bain de Soleil. 1981. c. Packard, 1925. d. Club Med, 1982. e. Campbell Soup, 1935. f. Nokia, 1995. g. Microsoft Windows, 1996. h. Maxwell House, 1915. i. Prada, 1989. j. Virgin Islands, 1970. k. Clairol, 1964. l. Bud Light, 1975. m. L'Oréal, 1967. n. Pepsodent, 1948. o. 7-Up, 1951. p. Braniff, 1967. q. Visa, 1988. r. Volkswagen, 1962. w. Movado, 1968. t. Brylcreem, 1949.
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2003 Texas Chapbook Press
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