Arabic Humor

by Jerden Purmort

What rotates 500 times after its death? Roast chicken!
                                                                     –bazs1

There were 3 children. one said my father drives the scooter so fast that in 1 hour he drives full khorfakkan. Second boy said my fayher drives the scooter so fast that within 2 hours he drives full khorfakkan and fujairah. Third boy said my father drives the scooter so fast that he used to be in the hospital and the scooter in the garage.
                                                                     –sneha

Telephone bell was ringing at Mr. X's house. Other person: Is it one one one one ? X : No, its is eleven eleven. Other person: Sorry to disturb you. X : No mention, anyway I had to answer the telephone
                                                                     –kavithanair

Some one was driving his car in the desert so while he is driving he gets thirsty' so he went to a shop and knocked the door and he asked the owner shop and said: I need water so the owner said: sorry my friend we only sell ties so he went to other place and asked them' so it was the same answer so he didn’t buy his self a tie. So suddenly he found a restaurant so he went faster than he can and asked the waiter and said I need water please my friend. So the waiter said: sorry sir you need a tie to come in poor man.
                                                                     –smart_boy_17

A group of tourists visit the Niagara Falls and are accompanied by a guide. Guide: I welcome you all to the Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high that the sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls
                                                                     –allawi17

Three passengers were sitting beside each other in the plane. The female attendant asked them what do you want. The first said: I want sugar –- oh you sugar. The second said: I want honey –-oh you honey .The third waited for a while and said I want milk –-oh you cow.
                                                                     –fouadej

What do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef!
                                                                     –sahar83

Did you hear about the idiot inventor? He invented a waterproof tea bag.
                                                                     –yamalalshakah

A boy meets a girl in a pub and shows interest in dating her and tells her that he believes in all that moral ethics. And on hearing all this she asked that boy to come to her home to pick her. When the boys reached the next day to the girl house. Surprisingly the girl’s mother took him to that girls room and ask him to take a doll which the girl have left out there for him while going out.
–jskg_s

BOY: Isn't the principal a dummy! GIRL: do you know who I am? BOY: No. GIRL: I'm the principal's daughter. BOY: And do you know who I am? GIRL: No. BOY: Thank goodness!
                                                                     –ibrahimo

THERE WAS AN OLD WOMAN WHO WAS SICK .SO SHE WENT TO A DOCTOR FOR TREATMENT. THE DOCTOR SAID TO HER YOU'RE OK, YOU JUST NEED A HUSBAND WHO IS 50 YEARS OLD .SHE SAID NO…. PLEASE, I WANT TWO... EACH ONE IS 25 YEARS OLD...
                                                                     –alishingiaty

A Girl asked her boy friend:" when you marry me will you give me a ring?" he said :"yes, give me your phone number please".
                                                                     –ranaakram

Question: What's green and smells like paint? Answer: Green paint
                                                                     –palestinian_loser

How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
                                                                     –rama

Q: Why do gorillas have big noses? A: Because they have big fingers
                                                                     –rama

Q:what is the common between lemon and olive? A: The two do not give tomato juice.
                                                                     –bignono

Craig David, Britney Spears and Shaggy are seated in a restaurant having a snack when all of a sudden someone farts.They look at eachother and Shaggy says ,'IT WASN'T ME, then Craig replys I'M WALKING AWAY and just then Britney confesses that 'oops i did it again.
                                                                     –_3arabeyeh_

Q: What did the apple say to the orange? A: I despise you for being different from me.
                                                                     –3antar