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1. Does one of your co-workers often shake more than
twice at the urinal? |
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2. Does one of your co-workers occasionally make
disparaging remarks about any or all of the following: Laura Bush, Tom DeLay, Arnold
Schwarzenegger, Clarence Thomas, Charlton Heston, Hermann Goering? |
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3. Has one of your co-workers been heard to say that
compulsory fluoridation of the water supply in all American cities should be mandatory? |
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4. Does one of your co-workers occasionally express
admiration for any or all of the following: Jane Fonda, Hillary Clinton, Susan B. Anthony,
Cleopatra? |
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5. Has one of your co-workers during lunch hour been
seen reading any or all of the following: the New York Times, a religious tract other than
the Bible, the instruction manual of a vehicle whose manufacturer has its headquarters in
a country other than the United States? |
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6. Has one of your co-workers been heard to question
the omniscience of any or all of the following: Donald Rumsfeld, John Ashcroft, Ari
Fleischer, Karl Rove, God? |
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7. Has one of your co-workers repeatedly questioned
the wisdom of your company’s leaders by doubting the advisability of putting all your
401(k) in company stock? |
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8. Does one of your co-workers frequently make
disparaging remarks about SUVs and their owners? |
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9. Does one of your co-workers like to talk about any
or all of the following: Aladdin, Scheherazade, Osama bin Laden? |
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10. Has one of your co-workers been heard to express
doubt about the inerrancy of any or all of the following: MSNBC, the Bible, Matt Drudge. |
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11. Does one of your co-workers rarely have anything
good to say about Hollywood but loves to talk about the meta-narrative of the Fellini
oeuvre? |
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12. Does one of your co-workers seem to take offense
when you refer to this or that Democrat as a c—k-sucking liberal-livered so-and-so? |
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13. Does one of your co-workers not only avoid eating
meat but is not ashamed of this behavior? |
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14. Does one of your co-workers ever use words such
as "karma," "Timothy Leary," "metaphysics," or
"non-violence"? |
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15. Does one of your co-workers
treat every work day as if it were casual Friday? |
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16. Has one of your co-workers
vacationed recently in any or all of the the following: China, Cuba, Santa Monica? |
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17. Has your boss or your boss's
boss been heard to speak disparagingly of the Wall Street Journal editorial page? |
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18. Have you found a copy of
Playgirl concealed in the cubicle of one of your male co-workers, or a copy of Ms.
concealed in the cubicle of one of your female co-workers? |
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19. Does one of your co-workers
avidly and at every opportunity deride the innovative breakthroughs of Bill Gates and
Microsoft and defend the elitist, exclusionary practices of Steve Jobs and Apple? |
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20. Have you noticed hairs growing
in the palms of one of your co-workers? |
