Still hoping for the ever-elusive Pulitzer while at the same time trying to better understand the behavior of the current Administration, the editors of Magellan's Log recently gave their team of always-eager investigative reporters a daunting assignment:

Interview the primary childhood caregivers of the leading Republican poo-bahs and find out what was the favorite toy of each at age four. This information would then be passed on to a panel of expert therapists, analysts, and psycho-historians who would comment in a hopefully enlightening manner.

Behind this difficult assignment is the far greater difficulty all thinking Americans are experiencing at present. You turn on the news, look at a paper, check the Internet, and all you say is: "How do these guys get away with it?" They run the gamut from devious-but-stupid to devious-but-smart and have somehow managed to turn vice into virtue and virtue into vice. Not only is greed good but so are lying, theft, and hate--as long as you do it on a very big scale and always, of course, for the "betterment" of America.

We thought maybe in their early, favorite toys we could get some hints about the motivations of these strange people (other than greed), their desires (other than "more, more!), their very raison d'etre ("it's good to be rich").

Anyway, we sent our guys and gals off on the search, which was not as straightforward as you might think. You have to remember that our present ruling class was mostly reared NOT by their parents but by nannies, au pairs, governesses (yes, even in America), in-house tutors, etc. Not only are these people hard to track down, but once you find them you discover that they have been very well taken care of, for the most part living lives of retired ease on hefty bank accounts (read "hush money").

Long-time readers know what an intrepid lot our writers are. Clever and persistent, they eventually came back with the goods on 12 of of current "leaders."

Here they are, and just below, their favorite toys in random order. On the next page you'll find out which toy goes with which leader and what our crack therapists and analysts think it means. Note: There are 18 toys because even at age four, several of our leaders were fixated on "more".

Their Toys:

See which toy belongs to which leader
and read our in-depth team analysis >>

END

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