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If you like this piece, check out:
Is It Empire Yet?

The Funniest Book
of the 21st Century (So Far)!

wpe6.jpg (7537 bytes)128 pages of the best satire from 6 years of Magellan's Log. Well beyond chortles, Is It Empire Yet? verges on the downright hilarious. "Swiftian," says one reader. "Rib-splitting," says another. "Brilliantly, uproariously offensive to all right-thinking Republicans," says yet another. 128 pp. Paperback. 8.5" x 11". ISBN 0-9767821-3-8. $21.95:

Or at amazon.com:
Is It Empire Yet?

Fear & Loathing in the 21st Century:
Introduction
by Doc Cuddy

New eras bring with them new opportunities, new responsibilities-- and new fears.

Late-Capitalists, along with Boy and Girl Scouts, pride themselves on being prepared. The loss of a couple of trillion in market value during the dot-com collapse is only the most recent of many examples supporting the validity of the oft-repeated dictum: "Watch out!" Or, as it's sometimes put: "Low bridge!" Or even, occasionally, "Shit!"

Clearly, the recent unpleasantnesses in Lower Manhattan, at the Pentagon, and in southwestern Pennsylvania indicate that in addition to faulty phobias on the part of Late-Capitalists, certain government, military, and espionage entities can also be described only as extremely fear-challenged.

Ever seeking to be of special service to our cutting-edge cyber-readers, we recently brought in a team of behavioral researchers for in-depth testing of the Magellan's Log staff, probing for all kinds of fears, simple and complex, hidden and obvious, old and new.

With the results of those tests in hand, we have, we feel, been able to establish a bench-mark of fear for the 21st century. Instead of getting rich off workshops in Aspen, symposia in Davos, and confrerations in Kuala Lumpur, we have condensed our findings into four quickie tests, which we herewith present free to the readers of Magellan's Log.

Five minutes of your time here may save not only your 401k tomorrow but the homeland itself on another day further down the road when it is again threatened by forces of evil,

On each of the following pages you will find 8 images, carefully chosen to symbolize various facets of contemporary life which should elicit some form of fear in you. Beneath the 8 images you will find the names of the various types of fears produced by the images in a properly frightened citizen of the 21st century. Your job is to match the image and the fear:

                          1. Mix and Match: Elementary Fears
                          2. Mix and Match: Intermediate Fears
                          3. Mix and Match: Advanced Fears
                          4. Mix and Match: Post-graduate Fears

   

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