The New Millennium Inkblot Test
A Public Service of Magellan's Log for the New Age

A hundred years ago Hermann Rorschach, a psychotherapist who until his great moment of discovery was known mainly for having too many consonants and not nearly enough vowels in his name spilled ink on paper, smushed it around, spilled some more ink on other pieces of paper, and came up with ten splotches that would make him rich and famous.

Contemplating his handiwork, Dr. Rorschach found that his over-active imagination quickly saw all manner of objects, some of which caused him to blush, in the suggestive outlines of his inkblots. Showing the inkblots to his patients produced even more shocking responses, which opened up whole news threads of therapeutic discussion, leading to a gratifying increase in the number of billable therapeutic hours.

Next thing you know, Dr. Rorschach had found a publisher. His ten smudges were copyrighted, printed, and quickly spread around the world as yet another tool in the growing arsenal for harried therapists faced with the daunting task of explaining to the rich and mighty of the 20th century why they shouldn't feel guilty about being rich and mighty.

Shelves of books were written on the meaning of various responses to the blots ("Identification of a 'lamp' in the upper middle of Figure 7 indicates advanced schizophrenia; the patient should be hospitalized immediately"; "Descrying a duck-billed platypus in the lower left corner of Figure 2 is a sure sign of oral fixation on, and repressed envy of, the patriarchal procreative organ").

(The effect of Dr. Rorschach's seminal spills of tincture on the course of 20th century art [think Pollock; think, for that matter, New York Abstract Expressionism altogether], while undoubted, is an area of cultural evolution we don't really need to go into here.)

The Rorschach inkblots served a sorely troubled century well, alleviating all manner of ethical doubts among patients and lining the pockets of therapists in a highly satisfactory manner.

The dawn of a new millennium brings new therapeutic needs. With global shifts in cultural foci (goodbye great books), economic parameters (Midas, compared to us, was a pauper), and scientific and technological reality (how many pixels can dance in the head of Bill Gates), it is clearly time for a new set of inkblots.

As it becomes clear that the highway to e-heaven may turn out to be somewhat of a rocky road, therapists around the world have been clamoring for a more efficacious treatment tool. One San Jose healer recently lamented, "I showed a new client Figure 1 in the Rorschach series and we spent the entire 50 minutes discussing how much he'd be willing to bid--the high six figures it turns out--if it showed up at Sotheby's."

Simple, old-fashioned ink spills worked well for a simple, old-fashioned century. For the exciting new age, Magellan's Log proudly presents "The New Millennium Inkblot Test."

In the magnanimous, open-code spirit of the new age, we are putting the new images free of charge on the Internet.

Furthering the anti-secrecy mood of the time, we also supply free of charge the guaranteed BEST interpretations of your responses to the New Inkblots.

No more traipsing off once or twice a week to some bricks and mortar "therapist," no noisome and very large billing items added to your Platinum Card.

Everything you need to find your therapeutic way through the new millennium is right here! Ten evocative, provocative, revealing NEW images. Each with five convenient multiple choice responses.

No more hemming and hawing. Just read the choices, choose one, zip on to the next image, and within minutes, you're finished. Take a quick look at our nutshell interpretations and BINGO you're all set to face the creative challenges of the New Millennium with vim, vigor, and in some cases perhaps just a tab or two of Viagra with perhaps an occasional booster hit of Prozac or Zoloft.

Get pencil and paper, and proceed to the first image.

CAUTION
The following images, while hardly obscene, are in some cases highly suggestive and may, in the case of the severely repressed, lead to discomfiting insights. Laughter, always painful for the overly self-important, is also a distinct possibility.

First Image >>

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