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The Magellan’s Log Cyber-Humours Test


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The Test
Below are five questions relating to "Micro Issues" and five questions relating to "Macro Issues." You may prefer, depending on your field of endeavor, to think of them as "personal" and "societal" questions.

Either print out the test, or record your answers on a piece of paper. Answer each question either "yes", "no", or "maybe".

Micro Issues
_____ 1. Material posted on the Internet should be considered public
                 domain.
_____ 2. Some vital element is lost even in a high-resolution
                 reproduction of art.
_____ 3. Spamming is always inappropriate, no more how idiotic
                 the dialog.
_____ 4. An hour spent outside in nature is more therapeutic than 10
                 hours on the Internet.
_____ 5. Masturbation with the left hand is better than with the right.

Macro Issues
_____ 1. More bandwidth is better.
_____ 2. Ebooks will replace most printed books.
_____ 3. The Internet will bring profound positive change to human
                 history.
_____ 4. Music from a CD is superior to music from a long playing
                 record.
_____ 5. Cybersex is better than masturbation.

Scoring:
Give yourself 20 points for each "yes", 10 points for each "no", and 0 points for each maybe. Total your points:

Micro points: ______

Macro points: ______

On the chart above, enter your two scores. For example, if your Micro Score is 80, make a dot on the left side of the grid beside the "80". And if your Macro Score is 40, make a dot on the right side of the grid beside the "40". Then follow the two lines to the place where they meet in the grid, and that will give you a graphic representation of your place in the digital order of things. In the case of our example, an 80/40 score indicates a fairly strong artistic bent but with a nice balance between the digital and analog worlds.

Interpreting Your Score
Obviously, persons scoring either far to the left (artistic) or far to the top (analog) may encounter some difficulties in our New Paradisical Digital World. Still, all is not lost. It is possible to be an artistic/analog personality and create a fulfilling life in the New World. Examples of famous analog personalities would be Allen Ginsberg, Bob Dylan, or Bob Dole (obviously some analog personalities are more successful than others). Examples of famous artistic personalities would be Frank Lloyd Wright, the Madonna, or Kinky Friedman.

Persons with strong rightest (scientific) tendencies will have smoother sailing because they are only a few steps removed from the glorious realities of the New Reductive Order of Things. Famous examples: Carl Sagan, Bill Gates, or the Rolling Stones (note that, whatever the Stones' content, theirs has been a carefully calculated, analyzed career).

Happiest, no doubt, will be those in the bottom quartile: Delighted Digitalians who wallow happily in a world reduced to the smallest possible pieces will provide leadership in all fields. Famous examples: Timothy Leary, Werner Heisenberg, or George W. Bush (obviously, measurable intelligence is not an essential factor for success here).

END

 

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