Disgustingly Eurocentric
Music Quiz

See No. 17.

Are your elitist tendencies getting a bit rusty? Find out with our classical music check-up quiz. The first few questions are pretty easy, but don't get over-confident. Eurocentric elitism is always a challenging pose to maintain. The later questions will surely test your esthetic sang-froid.

5 points per question.

1. Facile.
What is the opposite of "largo"?
      a. andante. b. accelerando. c. allegro. d. moderato.


2. Good Ear.
In standard American tuning, what is the pitch of the first A below middle-C?
      a. 220. b. 110. c. 212. d. 144.


3. Oops.
Beethoven originally dedicated his 3rd symphony to whom (and then changed his mind and scratched out the dedication)?
      a. The emperor of Austria. b. The emperor of France.
      c. The king of England. d. the pope.


4. Time Machine.
Which of the following pairs were NOT contemporaries?
      a. Shakespeare-Dowland.
      b. Hildegard von Bingen-William the Conqueror.
      c. Schubert-Liszt.
      d. Joplin-Stravinsky.


5. Non-patriarchs.
Only one of the following had children. Which one?
      a. Handel.    b. Wagner.     c. Liszt.    d. Brahms.


6. Sniff.
With his simplistic, reverentrial, lugubrious commentary, which of the following critics has done the most damage to the understanding and appreciation of classical music?
      a. Karl Haas.


7. Sex in Classical Music, Part 1.
Robert and Clara Schumann were part of an unconsummated ménage à trois. Who was the third person?
      a. Heinrich Heine. b. Gottfried Keller. c. George Sand.
      d. Johannes Brahms.


8. Tuning Fork in the Road.
Mozart's 41st Symphony is in C-major. What key is his 37th symphony in?
      a. d-minor. b. B-sharp. c. D-major. d. None of the above.


9. How Tweet It Is.
Which of the following does NOT contain a reference to bird calls?
      a. Tchaikovsky: Swan Lake. b. Respighi: Pines of Rome.
      c. Beethoven: Symphony No. 6. d. Gilbert & Sullivan: The Mikado.


10. Good Grief, Charlie Brown!
Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 1 was written in 1795. When was his Piano Concerto No. 2 written?
      a. 1793. b. 1795. c. 1797. d. 1799.


11. What About Oscar Hammerstein?
Who was the librettist for The Magic Flute?
      a. Lorenzo da Ponte. b. Emanuel Shikaneder.
      c. Friedrich Schiller. d. Heinrich Heine.


12. Scriveners Galore.
One of Schubert’s greatest achievements is the song-cycle, Die Winterreise (A Winter’s Journey). Who wrote the poems?
      a. E.T.A. Hoffmann. b. Heinrich von Kleist. c. Bill Miller. d. Goethe.


13. Sex in Classical Music, Part 2.
Which of the following contains direct references to the delights of cunnilingus and fellatio?
      a. Dowland: Lachrimae. b. Stravinsky: A Rake’s Progress.
      c. Orff: Carmina Burana. d. Brecht-Weill: The Three-penny Opera.


14. Sins of Commission.
Who wrote a collection of short pieces called "Sins of My Old Age"?
      a. Britten. b. Haydn. c. McDowell. d. Rossini.


15. Stoned.
The composition of which of the following was influenced by the ingesting of opium?
      a. Satie: Gymnopadie.
      b. Berlioz: Symphonie Fantastique.
      c. Bartok: Concerto for Orchestra.
      d. Villa-Lobos: Bachianas Brasilieras.


16. Flip a Coin.
One of the most famous pieces of 20th century music is called simply 4’33". Who is the composer?
      a. Bernstein. b. Glass. c. Debussy. d. Cage.


17. Name That Tunesmith.
Who's the composer pictured above?
      a. Albinoni.    b. Vivaldi.     c. Monteverdi.    d. Telemann.


18. The More the Merrier.
A group of four players is a quartet. What is a group of nine players?
      a. novum. b. nonette. c. tonette. d. nuevissimo.


19. Somebody Oughta Write a Play About Him.
As a boy, Mozart famously heard a performance of a piece of choral music in the Vatican and immediately afterward wrote out the complete score, though the Church had until then kept the work from being performed elsewhere. Who was the composer of the piece?
      a. Allegri. b. Josquin Desprez. c. Victoria. d. Monteverdi.


20. Silent Echoes.
The composer of which of the following did not hear a performance of the piece?
      a. Mozart: Symphony No. 41. b. Saint-Saens: Symphony No. 3.
      c. Handel: Messiah. d. Bach: Mass in b-flat minor.

SCORING:

90-100: Proust would be proud.

75-85: You may still smoke Gauloises, but you're losing your edge.

< 75: You should've known from your progressive political tendencies that it was a waste of time to even take the quiz.

ANSWERS > >

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