Part 3: The Gnu in Culture
Good Gnus.*
Christians believe that the good gnus allegedly occurred around the year 0 and
neither before nor since, according to the hoariest religious traditions. Why the
so-called good gnus should become totemic animals for an entire civilization Is a puzzle
whose solution has so far eluded all but the hardiest arctic explorers. Enlightened
scientific opinion today maintains good gnus never existed.
*Not to be confused with "the bad gnus". A number of people did just that at one
time, resulting In what Is known as the Manichean Heresy.
Gnu Testament.
The book which contains the most complete extant acount of the alleged "Good
Gnus" (q.v.).
The Gnu Broadway.
An extravagant, perennial creature which Is clearly the figment of somebody's
imagination. See W. Kerr. V. Canby, et al.
Barnett Gnuman.
An obscure sculptor given to defective obelisks.
Paul Gnuman.
Only known gnu with blue eyes.
The Gnu Wave.
An esthetic term applied to interminable French novels and movies of the mid-20th
century which purported to be a world-weary chronicle of the gnu.
The Gnu Yorker.
Magazine, once renowned for the quality of both its prose and its cartoons,
now a kind of deviant print version of the Rush Limbaugh Show.
Agnustic.
One who is uncertain about the existence of the Gnu.
Wayne Gnuton.
Entertainer whose life-purpose appears to be to give gnus a bad name.
Gnuscaster.
Any telegenic but intelligence-challenged gnu with blindingly white teeth who
appears regularly on television. Known as a "gnusreader" in British English.
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