Part 2: The Gnu in Society

The Gnus of the World.
The gnus of the world may be seen In most localities at six and ten each evening.

Gnuspeak.
Gnuspeak is, according to a twentieth century British heretic, the language of gnus. It Is frequently heard during election campaigns and wars. It has thus far defied analysis. There are those who maintain it is anything but gnu.

Lure of the Gnu
Children who, on the verge of adulthood tend to be abducted by the ferocious and infamous Gnu are of course traditionally traumatized by the experience and are thus unable to report to us the actual means by which the Gnu communicates.

Gnusday.
The day before Wednesday.

Gnulywed.
Bed-mate of a zoophile.

Gnusboy.
Bed-mate of a pedophile.

Gnusmagazine.
Time.

Gnusman.
Game warden In Zimbabwe.

Gnu York.
The classic gnu version of brobdingnagian urban life,

The Gnu Morality.
A popular pastime, re-discovered by each generation, of the delights of polymorphous perversity. Primarily, though not excluselvely, an indoor sport.

Gnuophilia.
Deviant behavior characterized by the incessant, compulsive search for the gnu.

Gnuophobia.
Even more strongly deviant behavior characterized by a fearful clinging to the old. Common in religionists, bankers, and males who view women as their possessions.

Gnuveaux riches.
Sub-species which arose as beneficiaries of "reaganomics." Easily identified by the mid-level designer knock-offs they wear and the SUV’s they drive.
A second strain has recently appeared, deriving its sudden wealth from gnu technology and the Intergnet. (Aside to logophiles: This phrase is also noteworthy for containing more silent letters than any other phrase in English.)

Gnurasthenia.
Degenerative gnurological disease brought on by excessive exposure to electronic media. Characterized by a certain weltschmerzy je ne sais quoi. In the terminal stages of gnurasthenia, sufferers feel an irresistible compulsion to vote Republican.

Gnurotic.
A pathological existential condition arising from long-standing repression of the desire to help the poor. Often a precursor of gnuasthenia (see previous entry).

Gnu England.
Area of United States inhabited by gnus who operate seasonal roadside stands given to the sale of maple syrup and large, lovely, handcrafted wooden toys whose many splinters are found only when played with at home.

Gnu Orleans.
City in southern United States where gnus go to let it all hang out.

Gnudist.
A human who, with other like-minded humans, on weekends goes to isolated parts of the countryside and walks around wearing a gnu suit.

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