Suddenly, Next Summer
by Cassandra
In which our in-house prophet riffs on the human compulsion to view the past
(no matter how awful it was at the time) with increasingly rose-tinted spectacles.
Except for a few people who persist in believing that the world was created way
back in 4004 B.C.E., everybody knows that history really began in 1947 when NBC connected
four TV stations on the east coast of the United States to form the first network.
Consider, please, the persistent decline in happiness and the equally persistent rise in
unhappiness since that momentous start of human culture lo these many decades ago.
Harry Truman was president when history began and everybody was pretty
satisfied until he got us into a "police action" (the government refused to call
it a war) in Korea. So in 1952 we kicked him out and replaced him with the leading general
from WWII, Dwight Eisenhower.
From 1952 to 1960, things went more or less swimmingly. Oh sure, there
was the "Red hunt" and the McCarthy hearings, but anyone whose patriotism was
flagging could turn on their TV most any morning and watch Dave Garroway interrupt the
Today Show so we could see--live--the latest open-air atomic bomb test from Nevada. The
masses were happy (cars grew fins and came in really bright-often two-toned-colors), Elvis
appeared, and the breezeway began to be replaced by universal air conditioning. But as the
Eisenhower years wore on, American human beings who persisted in thinking grew unhappier
and unhappier. True, the "Cold War" was going great guns, and nationalism was
more and more rampant (Charlie Wilson, Ike's defense secretary and former head of a
certain car company, proudly proclaimed, "What's good for General Motors is
good for America!"). But misery among the underclasses (Brown v. Board of
Education offered hope but not much) and the intelligentsia grew apace. Looking back,
viewed through the smudged lens of the 50s, the Truman years began looking better and
better.
Then in 1961 here came JFK, Camelot, etc. Which was swell. Until, oh, the
Bay of Pigs, Vietnam, and of course Dallas. By the time of the assassination, the 50s
themselves seemed not so bad.
The Johnson Ascendancy (1963-1969) brought sudden civil rights progress,
but at the same time a huge commitment of troops and money to the war in Vietnam. Which
soon came home in the form of mass protests and the killing of pockets of rebellious
students here and there (Kent State, Jackson State) by the National Guard. The soporific
Eisenhower years suddenly looked great.
Johnson threw in the towel and here came Nixon (1969-1975) on a promise to end the
war. Dum-de-dum-dum. The war dragged on. And on. We obliterated large parts of
Cambodia with a "Christmas bombing." The New York Times leaked the
"Pentagon Papers," and the next thing you knew, it was Watergate time. Looking
back, the LBJ years began to seem positively edenic.
Then came Carter (1977-1981). And hostages in Iran. Oops. Nixon ceased
being a demon and morphed into an unlikely "statesman."
As the eight Reagan years (1981-1989) droned on ("Just say
'No!'"), the Carter and Nixon reigns looked rosier and rosier. The pink tint on the
past only increased with Iran-gate and Ronnie's ill-concealed descent into early
Alzheimer's as Nancy relied more and more frequently on her Official Astrologer for
guidance for herself and the nation.
Which brings us to Bush I (1989-1993) and, mainly, the Gulf War. The rosey backward tint
now colored Reagan pleasantly and he got an airport and aircraft carrier named after him.
Out went Bush I and in came Bill and Hillary (1993-2001), who--no doubt
with the best of intentions--wrong-footed the start of their reign with attempts to 1)
improve the lot of gays in the military and 2) reform health-care. Neo-Torquemadas
appeared on the airwaves and in Congress, happily sharing their view of America as the new
Sodom and Gomorrah. Monica, Monica… And Ronald Reagan was now
remembered with such fondness that one expected beatification.
Bush II (2001- ) and friends, who weren't doing well early on, greeted
9-11 as--literally--a sign from God and set out to change the world
(mainly the Middle East) into what--they assured us--God had told them was His plan. What
with Iraq and Enron and the environment and deficits and so on, the Clinton years now
seemed quite the Gilded Age as Bush et al. led America down the slippery slope toward
demonocracy.
Which-finally-brings us to the point. One summer soon, really before you know it,
Bush II & Co. will be gone. And somebody else'll be in there running the
show. How hard, oh ye splenetics, is it to imagine that suddenly next summer, or the next,
or the next, we will--hold onto you mouse--begin to look back on George W. Bush, Dick
Cheney, Karl Rove, etc., and think, ah, those were the good old days?
Oh ye doubters! Just as your faithful prophetess was doomed by the gods
to see the future but to never be paid attention to, ye who read her words are doomed not
to heed. Have a nice century.
END
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