We have all the foolishness of the animals, and little of their wisdom. That’s the sum total of my thinking after one day here. At least I’m developing some sympathy for Bonaparte on Elba.

You know what’s wrong with islands as prisons? No walls. You walk any direction for a while and eventually you come to a beach. And there’s the ocean, open and free as far as you can see. So where’s the prison? Walls you can at least dream about climbing. A thousand miles of ocean? Ten thousand miles of ocean?

Shit, I don’t even know how many miles. Not that it would matter a lot. None of them here know either. Believe me, I’ve asked. Either they don’t answer, or they give me some smart-assed zen-yoga thing ("the center is everywhere"), or they start cackling or dancing on one leg or some such. Yes, we have our quota of crazies here. And then some.

It’s not only a prison without walls, it’s prison-as-Eden. Imagine Hawaii before Hawaii had Interstates and Christians. Think pre-French Tahiti. Envision Bali before Condé Nast Traveller writers on comp trips. The original Eden before Jehovah fucked things up with rules. White beaches, clear blue water, rustling palms, snow-capped volacno, cool streams, whispering waterfalls, mangos, bananas, --- galore, not to mention the occasional durian, along with a bunch of other fruits you’ve never seen before. All that’s missing is a ukelele and --- singing "Bali Hai" into the purple sunset in CinemaScope.

Am I adequately concealing my bitterness? I hope so. Wouldn’t want it to come spilling out here at the beginning, would we? Bitterness, or realism? Unlike most of my fellows across the eons in this historically respectable profession of prisoner, I am not about to, will in fact never protest my innocence. As you of all people know so well, I am guilty as charged.

Rejected Love Child? Is that the label? No, it’s not accurate. Never mind. I’m sure I’ll come up with something more appropriate.

Did I mention that this is a uni-crime facility? All of us here are guilty as charged, and except for the crazies, and the mentally lame and halt, everybody seems to acknowledge that this is the case. Upon questioning this morning, they also confirm that arrival here can be more than a little idsorienting. One moment you blissing out as the light-filled, multi-dimensional creature frolicking on a rainbow bridge. The next PLONG no rainbow bridge, no frolick, goodbye multi, hello mundane old 3-D. Such was my dilemma last night.