Meanwhile...

Gesundheit
A woman goes to the doctor because she is suffering from fits of sneezing. The doctor examines her and says that she is probably suffering from seasonal allergies or the flu. She explains to him that her condition is more complicated in that every time she sneezes she has an orgasm. When asked by the doctor what she is taking for that, she replies, "Black pepper."
                                                                 C.G.
                                                                 Sugar Land, TX

Where there's Smokey...
Two members of a small monastery decided to open a florist shop to help raise money for their good works. The idea of buying beautiful flowers from gentle friars appealed to a lot of people in the town, and soon they were flocking to the shop.

Meanwhile, the florist across town saw his business virtually disappear when all his customers began buying flowers from the monks. He thought the monks had an unfair advantage, so he visited the monks' shop and asked them to return to the monastery and leave business to businessmen. They politely declined.

He went straight to the monastery and asked the abbot to convince the monks to abandon their business, but the abbot declined as well. Next the florist sent his mother, his parish priest and his children to visit the monks, asking them to cease their business so the original florist could make a living. This ploy didn't work either.

Finally, in desperation, the florist hired the town thug, Hugh McNasty, to use personal persuasion. Hugh McNasty showed up one night with a cudgel, shattered the windows of the monks' shop, tossed their flowers out into the street, and gave the monks black eyes, promising them he'd be back unless they closed their business. Moral: Hugh and only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

Philately at its best
A woman getting married for the fourth time goes to a bridal shop and asks for a white dress.

"You can't wear white.", the sales clerk reminds her. "You've been married three times already."

"Of course I can, I'm a virgin!", says the bride.

"Impossible," says the sales clerk.

"Not true", the bride says wistfully. "My first husband was a psychologist. All he wanted to do was talk about it. My second husband was a gynecologist. All he wanted to do was look at it. My third husband was a stamp collector.... God I miss him!"

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