
Reportage by Nfubi Kwaadutu
Magellan's Log Correspondent
N'Djamena, Republic of Chad
Background from the Editors of Magellan's Log:

As early as the morning of November 8, 2000, the editors of Magellan's Log sensed
the ground was shifting under our political, nay, our GEOpolitical feet. The beads of
sweat on Dan Rather's brow, Peter Jennings's slightly crossed eyes, Tom Brokaw's clenched
teeth as election night wore on led us to two conclusions:
1. The rule of law in the United States was about to come to an end, to be replaced by
the Rule of Rehnquist.
2. And the center of power on the planet was shifting visibly 3,000 miles to the east,
to N'Djamena, capital of the Republic of Chad, for the name of that nation previously
known only for the pictures of its starving populace was on the lips of every American.
There wasn't much we could do about Rehnquist et al. But the gods smiled and delivered
into our email box a communiqué from one Nfubi Kwaadutu, aspiring Chad journalist.
In the days and weeks since the Coup of 11-7-00, the tide of events has made ever
clearer the critical role of Chad in the New World Order:
--The presumed appointment of Ms. Katherine Harris to be
"ambassadortrix" to Chad,
--The activity in N'Djamena preparing Ms. Harris's new official
residence,
--Rumors about Linda Tripp's imminent arrival as Ms. Harris's official
person-in-waiting,
--Word that, since Chad has no reciprocity agreement with the United States (or anyone
else for that matter), Bill Clinton will soon be opening a law office in
N'Djamena, and on and on.
What could we do but throw our pages open to Nfubi Kwaadutu's insightful reportage from
his nation's capital? Is Nfubi Kwaadutu the new Walter Lippman? The next James Reston? We
think there's a real possibility that his is the first authoritative, trustworthy voice of
the post-coup era. We welcome him to our pages. No citizen of the global community can
henceforth consider him- or herself well-informed without reading Nfubi's insightful
dispatches.
If this doesn't get us--and him-- a Pulitzer, we don't know what will.
The Chad Reports
Report No. 1 was the following short letter from
Nfubi:
Dear Magellan,
[Re: Election 2000] Now that George W. Bush is
forming his hypothetical cabinet (Colin Powell for Secretary of State? Why not Secretary
of Defense?), and Katherine Harris is being rewarded for her unswerving electoral loyalty
with a long-sought appointment as Ambassador to Chad, is it not high time for your fine
internationally focused publication to open a bureau in this proud, progressive,
prosperous and picturesque country?
Most respectfully,
Nfubi Kwaadutu
N'Djamena, Republic of Chad
Report No. 2: Excitement in N'Djamena about Mme.
Ambassadortrix Harris.
Report No. 3: Growing
Adoration of the Soon-to-arrive
Ambassadortrix.
Supplementary Report: Exclusive
World-scoop Photos of Mme.
Harris's New Residence in N'Djamena.
Report No. 4: Mme.
Harris Denies Involvement in Congo
Bloodshed.
Report No. 5: Linda
Tripp's Rumored Appointment as Mme.
Harris's Assistant, and other matters.
Report
No. 6: National Love Affair with Linda.
Report
No. 7: In which the ambassadortrix reveals her softer side.
Report
No. 8: Trouble in N'Djamena following a report that Jeb Bush may displace the
beloved Ms. Harris.
Report
No. 9: When the lights go down in N'Djamena.
Report
No. 10: Tripp opens bi-partisan destination resort!
Report No. 11:
Sen. Thurmond enjoys Chadian hospitality.
Report No. 12:
Africa Calling.
Report No. 13: Importation
Intent.
Report No. 14: The Call of
the Sacristy.
Click here to read Nfubi's Nfan Mail.
END

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